Philosophy: Observing Myself

As I’ve mentioned here and there, I’m working on a new look for my site. It’s going to be radically different from anything I’ve done before, and it’s both exciting and terrifying. Hopefully, it will be exciting for you, and you will tell everyone you know, or at least everyone you know who buys photos. Because, you know, that’s why I do this.

In the process of putting it together, I’m going through my rather impressive backlog of photography, looking for themes, subjects, ways of presenting myself. And that is rough. I’ve had some spectacular years, some good years, and a couple bad years both artistically and personally. Going through the photos, when I was having a good or spectacular year personally, I think it shows in the work, and when it’s a bad year, wow, do I hate to look through the photos. I find a few gems, but I also see a lot of work that sucks. It’s boring and contrived, and going through the ones I rated with 3 or 4 stars, I think to myself, ‘Why the hell did you rate these so high?’

And then I wonder if it’s truly that the images themselves are that bad, or if it’s mental. Am I reliving what it was like to be in here (“here” being my head, which I’d be pointing to if there were a couple cappuccinos or a bottle of wine between us) during those periods? Some of them were dark, and sometimes I realized at the time that I was not doing well, and for other periods it wasn’t until I came through the other side that I realized I was living in a gray fog.

Today, as I was going through one such period’s work, I got stuck on how bad the work was. It was so bad that I left the computer to do laundry. And then I cleaned up the kitchen a little. Sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it now.

Suddenly, BOOM! an epiphany! I don’t need to show old work. I need to show you the work I want to sell and make now. There will be a few older photos, but only if they fit a current trend in what I’m doing. No more of this maudlin re-looking at photos that don’t do it for me.

And since you’ve read this far, here’s a new background image for you. I shot it yesterday during a windstorm:

Wheat

Wheat

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